Humantale
by BeautifulDoom
Summary: A series of drabbles starring the cast of Undertale as humans
1. Grillby's Dogpack

If you asked Grillby what the name of his dog was, he'd say 'Annoying Dog or A.D for short'. He would then say the dog was called that 'with the greatest affection'. Apparently the small fluffy white dog had earned that name by tracking mud through Grillby's bar, messing up the trashcans, and howling all night long.  
Or the dog had USED to do all that.  
Nowadays, Annoying Dog was chill enough, preferring to run around on the back patio of Grillby's bar and play with Grillby's other dogs.  
Of course, Annoying Dog had had a hand, well a paw, in that too.

Grillby had lovingly taken in Annoying Dog after meeting the fluffy pooch late one night during a storm. Said dog had come to the back patio for shelter and Grillby had always had a soft spot for animals. He fed the dog some leftover food and took him home for a bath and warm bed. When no one claimed the dog Grillby named him, took him to the vet, and gave him a collar.

But that wasn't the end of it.  
A month later, Annoying Dog had brought two dogs to the patio, and once again Grillby felt his heart aching. Both were fluffy while one was white, and the other was a bit more off white. Not to mention one was enormous while the other was more average sized. Yet again, no one claimed the dogs Grillby took in so he named them Greater Dog and Lesser Dog (G.D and L.D for short).  
Three months passed and once again A.D brought two dogs to the patio. These two were very affectionate and were beautiful shades of brown, black, and white. Grillby once again took them in and waited for someone to claim them. After a week he named them Dogamy and Dogaressa.  
The final dog was added not long after that. This one was black and white with grizzled fur and a harsh bark. He seemed to have trouble seeing (the vet diagnosed cataracts), but Grillby loved him all the same. When no one claimed him, he was named Doggo.

That was how Grillby found himself the owner of his own pack of misfit dogs that had more or less become the mascots of Grillbyz. Bar patrons loved the fluffy little devils and would leave them toys or treats instead of tips, which Grillby didn't mind. The bartender would just laugh and push his glasses up his nose, long red ponytail bobbing slightly. Of course this had also invited an onslaught of canine related puns from his loyal patron Sans.  
Which Grillby also did not mind.

"You should get some cats," said Sans. "Balance things out a bit. Too many dogs can make you go BARKING mad."  
"Why don't you get a pet?" Grillby was cleaning a glass. "I thought Papyrus wanted one."  
"Yeah, but he can't decide," Sans sighed. "One day he wants a kitten and then the next it's a chameleon. I'll give him some time to decide before I bring any animals home. Besides, I think you already adopted all the stray dogs in the area."  
"Don't jinx it," said Grillby. He put the glass away and began wiping the bar. "If A.D brings another home I might scream."  
"Your poor bleeding heart," Sans said in mock sympathy. "You must be DOGGED tired from it all."  
"Now that's enough," Grillby flicked the towel at Sans. "You've already gone over your limit. Do I need to bring the Pun Jar back?"  
"Nah, that last experience was too JAR-ring," Sans laughed as he poured more ketchup on his fries. 


	2. Sans Needs the Laptop

"PAP!" Sans rushed through the door of their house, slamming the door behind him. This earned a reprimand from his father in the kitchen, but he ignored it in favor of looking for his brother. Sans found Papyrus in the living room, watching a cooking show on tv.  
"Sans?" Papyrus looked over in confusion. "Sans, you're out of breath. What's wrong?"  
"I… need… laptop," Sans panted harshly, sweat running down his face. He ran a hand through his shaggy curls and leaned against the wall. "Important… school…"  
"School?" Papyrus raised an eyebrow. "I thought you weren't going to college-"  
"Changed my mind! Laptop! Please! It's an emergency," Sans was almost whimpering.  
"I left it upstairs on my bed," Papyrus went back to his show. "Please wipe your feet before you enter my room…"  
Sans was already racing up the stairs.  
"What did your brother want?" Gaster said softly as Papyrus came into the kitchen for a drink. Papyrus shrugged as he poured some iced tea.  
"He said something about needing the laptop for school. Hopefully he's wised up and decided to apply for college," he said.  
Gaster dumped the vegetables he had just cut into the boiling pot and wiped his hands on his apron.  
"Papyrus, you know that college isn't for everyone. Plenty of people have done amazing things without it," he said. "It may have been a few years since Sans graduated high school, but life does not have a time limit."  
"I know," Papyrus sighed. "He's just… he's just so brilliant! I don't want to see it all go to waste. I want him to go off and do great things and become successful, but he just won't put any effort into it."  
"Again, this is normal," said Gaster. "Besides, you know your brother's mental health isn't the best. It's hard for him to put in effort. It's hard for him to find energy to do things. That's why I let him take his time. I knew that one day something would come up. Something that he really wanted. And I always promised that I would be there to help him with it-"  
"Dad! I need to borrow $30," Sans took that moment to rush into the kitchen. "Please, dad! It's important!"  
"You keep saying that," said Papyrus. He set his tea down and put his hands on his hips, looking down at his brother. "What's so important-"  
"My wallet is on my dresser," Gaster was now spicing some chicken. "You can use my card."  
"Thanks Dad! I'll pay you back," and then Sans was gone again. Gaster looked towards the doorway and chuckled.  
"It's so nice to see him excited. I wonder what he's doing." Papyrus put his own apron on and began to help Gaster with dinner.  
"I have no idea," he said. "But… I really hope he gets it. Whatever it is."


	3. The Competition

Alphys was hard at work. Her blonde hair was tied back, her glasses were clean, she was twiddling her pencil in one hand an gnawing on a piece of pocky in the other. This essay was hard work, but it would be worth it all if she managed to win with it. She nearly drooled as she thought about a chance for an internship at EbbotCo. Asgore Dreemur himself had put the word out that he would extend an internship to whomever won the competition, and Alphys wasn't about to let her chance pass by.

"Hey nerd!" A shout startled Alphys as a mouth came down and snatched the pocky from her hand.

"Undyne!" Alphys put a hand over her chest and tried to catch her breath. "Wh-what are you doing here? I-I thought you h-had work."

"Eh, those punks can deal without me for a little bit," Undyne sat in the chair next to Undyne, kicking her boots up on the cafe table. "You still working on that thing? Thought you were finished by now."

"I was," Alphys sighed and dig another piece of pocky from the box. "I just wasn't h-h-happy with it. I want it to be p-perfect. I mean, this is Asgore Dreem-m-murr. It has to be perfect!" She clenched her fists and smacked them into her ample thighs, almost seeming angry with herself. Undyne gave her a look over the tops of her sunglasses, finally sliding them off.

"You know he and I are like family, Alphy. I can talk to him of you want-"

"NO!" Alphys gasped and covered her mouth as Undyne jerked her legs from the table in surprise. She had never heard Alphys raise her voice like that before. Her girlfriend was always shy and softspoken, barely speaking above a normal volume to the point that Undyne had often joked about buying her a megaphone. If Alphys was suddenly snapping and yelling then it had to be a lot bigger than Undyne had thought.

Alphys finally took a deep breath and lowered her hands.

"I m-m-mean... I w-want to do this myself," she said. "I love y-y-you, but I want to earn this. I know I can d-d-do it, I just... I want to make sure I g-give the best essay. This is everything I ever w-w-wanted since I graduated highschool."

"What about your degree?" Undyne swept her crimson ponytail back and began to rub Alphys's back. She smiled at her girlfriend, proud of all the hard work she had done. Alphys had come a long way from the bullied little nerd she had been in middle school. She was still suffering from self esteem issues and depression, but she had started believing in herself enough to want to work hard for her dreams. She had registered for college on a full scholarship and was pulling top scores in all her classes. Well, almost all of them. She had signed up for a sports class to help herself lose weight, but she was struggling. Of course, Undyne was always there to tell her how much she loved her squishy little marshmallow of a girlfriend.

"I'm still going to get my degree," said Alphys. "B-but, this internship w-will help me get a job easier when I finish. Plus think of all I c-c-can learn if I got it."

"Ah, you cute little nerd!" Undyne picked Alphys up in a tight hug, causing her to yelp. "I love it when you talk about stuff like this. But you're not gonna get much done out here. Let's go home and I'll cook you something to eat." Alphys blanched at the thought of Undyne's terrible cooking and laughed nervously.

"Um... h-h-how about I make something? Remember last time?"

"Hey, that fire was totally under control. Didn't even singe the ceiling! Fufufufuufu!"

~O~

"Sans?" Papyrus knocked on the open door as his brother sat hunched over the laptop. He was chewing on the strings of his hoodie and staring at the screen as if it had personally offended him. Whatever he was working on, he had been working on it quite a bit for the past day or two. As much as Sans loved to eat and sleep, he had done barely any of the two, preferring to sit in his room and type away at something.

"Hm?" Sans looked up at Papyrus. "Oh hey, bro."

"Sans, what are you doing?" Papyrus asked as he walked across the blue carpet. "You've barely left this room and I know you haven't been sleeping as much. What's so important that you've been rushing your meals with me and Father?"

Sans looked guiltily down at his fidgeting hands, staying silent for a moment. He knew he had been acting weird lately, but he was so busy on this essay that he hadn't even realized it was affecting his brother.

"You missed our weekly outing, didn't answer my calls, and only realized it all when I finally found you at Grillbys. Please, brother, I'm worried. What's wrong?" Papyrus sat on the bed and ran a hand through Sans's dark curls. Sans finally sighed and looked up at Papyrus.

"I'm sorry, bro. I just... look, I found out about an internship that EbbotCo is offering, but there's an essay competition you have to win first. I just... I really want this, bro. I'm sorry I've been ignoring you and Dad, but I just gotta get this right so it'll win. If I lose, I dunno if I'll get a chance again. I mean look at me, I'm just some lazybones who can't get into college because I don't have the energy to juggle so many classes just to keep a scholarship. There's no way they'd want me there at EbbotCo."

"Well... isn't Father good friends with Mr. Dreemurr? I'm sure he could put in a word-"

"No!" Sans snapped, eyes full of fire. Papyrus chuckled as he pulled Sans into a hug.

"Ah, you're so stubborn. Have to do everything yourself..."

"I want to get it on my own," said Sans. "I want to see if I can actually do it first."

"Of course," Papyrus said. "And I'm sure you will. No one's as brilliant as you are, Sans. I know I always push you to go to college, but that's only because I know how smart you are. I'd hate to see it all go to waste. But, that's a bad way to look at you. I negated your own feelings because I wanted so much for you, and I still do. If this essay is so important to you, then work on it as much as you want. Just don't forget to come eat sometimes, or that you have me and Father to support you if you need help. Ok?"

Sans smiled scratched the back of his head.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I'm just stressed about this essay, but... I should take advantage of this. I mean, you're actually encouraging me to take a break," he chuckled.

"Don't get used to it," said Papyrus. "Now come downstairs and eat dinner. Father made your favorite."

"Chili dogs!" Sans's eyes lit up. "I'm there!" He ran after his brother as they went down to dinner.


	4. Ms Dreemurr's Goat Farm

Toriel knew that she needed help. She had worked her farm admirably for years, but so much expansion had led her to needing an assistant. Her adopted child Frisk had been a wonderful helper, but with a new school and new friends, Toriel decided it would be unfair to ask Frisk to keep helping her. As such, she had put out an ad for an assistant on her farm. She had asked for experienced workers, but apparently there weren't very many people who had experience with goats or farming. Desperate, Toriel had looked through any of the resumes sent to her, but only one seemed to be a good candidate.  
She regarded said candidate, Papyrus, from the other side of her kitchen table. Papyrus was dressed smartly, but in clothes suitable for a farm, including leather work gloves, and working boots. His wide grin was infectious and Toriel could feel herself feeling much better after talking with him. Papyrus had told her that he had no experience, but he was a very fast learner and wouldn't let her down. Normally Toriel would thank him for his time and go with someone else, but no one else would be available when she needed them.  
"Well, that concludes the interview," Toriel smiled warmly, brushing her platinum hair back from her face. "Thank you ever so much for coming, Papyrus."  
"No problem, Ms. Dreemurr," Papyrus said happily. "I am very interested in this position and promise to work hard for you. The Great Papyrus never works less than he can."  
Toriel laughed, loving Papyrus's personality. Truth be told, even if he wasn't her only candidate she may have gone with him anyway.  
"After having talked to you, I would like to extend employment. I will be giving you some lessons on how to fulfill your duties, and we will get a schedule worked out for you. As for your pay, it will be every two weeks. I apologize if it's not as much as you desire…"  
"Money is no issue," said Papyrus. "I am just looking for a nice job to work while I attend school. I have far too much free time on my hands. I am sure I'll love it here!"  
Toriel smiled at him again while she sorted out the papers for him to sign.  
"Just read over these and sign the bottom, please."

Later, paperwork signed, technicalities take care of, Toriel was giving Papyrus a tour of her goat farm. Papyrus tried to pay attention, but with all the goats around, it was a little difficult. The goat would try to headbutt him or chew on his long scarf. Others demanded he pat them or sniffed him for treats. Toriel, bless her, didn't seem bothered. If anything, she was amused. Papyrus was once again butted as Toriel showed him where the goats were milked.  
"I will show you how to milk them as well as how to prepare the milk and cheese for human consumption. On the weekends, I take my hauls to the farmers market and sell them there. There are other products I make, but you will need to master the simpler ones first," Toriel rubbed the floppy ears of a nearby goat as she spoke. "As described in the ad, this job will be very physical and demand a lot of energy and stamina, but I do not expect you to be a machine. If you are having trouble, please let me know."  
Papyrus had been nodding along while he wrestled with one errant goat. It seemed determined to eat his scarf, and moving the crimson fabric only served to anger it. Still, he managed to listen to Toriel and absorbed the information as needed.  
"I understand," he said. "Of course I will inform you of anything should the need arise, but I assure you I am very strong and hardworking."  
"I have no doubt," said Toriel. She smoothed out her purple overalls and checked her watch. "It's getting rather late and my child will be getting home soon. I expect you here Wednesday morning at 8am sharp. You have my number, feel free to call if you have any questions or concerns."  
"I will, Ms. Dreemurr," Papyrus saluted her. "And I shall research goats until then. When you see me again, I shall be a goat expert!"  
"I'm sure you will," Toriel laughed. She was very happy to have found such an enthusiastic worker, but she was still leery that such enthusiasm would inevitably fade. She sent Papyrus home and was still smiling when Frisk came in from the bus stop. Frisk was happy that Toriel would have the help she needed and was eager to meet Papyrus.

~O~

"A goat farm?" Gaster repeated as he sipped his tea. "You mean the one on the edge of town?"  
"The same," Papyrus shoveled a bite of chicken into his mouth. "The lady there is very nice, and I can tell we're going to be great friends. The goats were… mostly friendly. I shall have to remember to leave my scarf at home."  
Gaster chuckled as he proudly regarded his son.  
"Well I'm very happy you got the job, but please don't let it interfere with your studies. I make more than enough money to support us all," he said sternly. Papyrus licked some sauce from his thumb and nodded.  
"I know, Father, but I hate just sitting around here when my school and chores are done. I need something else to do with my time. Especially since Sans has been so wrapped up in his essay-"  
"That will not last long," said Gaster. "The deadline for that contest is in two weeks. After that, he should be back to his social self."  
"Stil…" Papyrus toyed with his vegetables. "I am starting to feel lonely…"  
Gaster sighed and pat his son on the head.  
"Two weeks," he said. "And then we will both have Sans back. I promise."


End file.
